Installation Problem Debian 7.6 x64 - not package but 14.07 .run download file

Hi,

I would like to run a ejabberd server on my vserver. The host is running debian 7.6 x64

I did not chose the packages (which are a breeze to use) because they are quite "old" and the newer version have quite a few improvements that I hope to take advantage off.

I managed to download the appropriate .run file, chmod +x and run it (as root), install to /opt/ejabberd 1407

the installation itself finnishes without a problem and I seem to be able to run ejabbered.
in fact, i was able to set it up with ldap_auth, shared ldap roster. a lot of time service ejabberd restart has been called

when I was done I rebooted to see if it autostarts after following the instructions (create user, give user rights for database and logs, copy file to init.d dir)
it did not boot. and since then I couldnt start it as root either...

I wish to let ejabberd run as daemon on boot with the least rights as possible (not! as root)

I tried to follow the instructions ( http://www.process-one.net/docs/ejabberd/guide_en.html#htoc5 ) and tried my google-fu about debian, users, groups, daemons, autostart, init.d and much more...

I tried to create a user, a system user, with or without groups, Ive set different owners and groups for database/logs and even the whole dir. ive tried 777
ive tried sudo -u

point is, I just cant get ejabberd to run with the information I have and the things I tried.

please, if possible, someone give me precise information how to install ejabberd on debian or rather how to set up user, groups and rights and how to set it up as daemon to autostart...

thank you!
Catwiesel