I configured a shared roster with app. 10 members. This worked pretty fine.
If I change the name (in the shared roster) of one of my chat buddies, I immediately appear off-line to him. After reconnecting everything is back to normal. The name got changed.
Same problem, try patch
I tried with ejabberd 2.0.5 and Tkabber SVN. I get your same problem, and ejabberd reports this error:
I applied this simple patch:
With that, the problem is solved in ejabberd 2.0.5.
I also tried in ejabberd 2.1.0 and the problem doesn't appear in that version.